It’s been about a month between my last ramble of dreams and reality. So here’s something more.
In the red corner, bouncing up and down like a butterfly bee, sits the Wants. A dreamlike haze surrounds this figure, because, let’s face it, the Wants are dreams. Emepheral is a good descriptive word, giving rise to images like a ghost, spectre, something not quite there.
What We Want (to do) is rarely more than smoke, a puff of air. Imagination. Dream. Hope.
In the blue corner, a great weight sits. A stone mountain lumbers forward, and who can stop it? Certainly not a vapourous mist from the other side of the ring.
What We Have To Do is a juggernaut. It rolls on despite our own concerns, because even if we lived in a cave deep in the Misty Mountains there would still be a responsibility to our Preciousess. I thought about taking this further, Hobbits, Orcs, shining swords, and so on .. but decided against it, if only because there might be more spots later that could do with a good sprinkling of pop culture (if JRRT could be put under that banner, the movies give it credence).
Immediately on my mind is our work. My work. My current employment as a software developer with a small-medium sized business (corporation? i’m not sure). Let’s say, for the moment, that this is What We (I) Have To Do. And let’s say that Script-Writing/Doctoring is What We (I) Want To Do. Can you say "Serenity" .. oh yeah. Watching that movie always fires my imagination, even more with Joss Whedon’s commentary turned on. How can I make a sucessful transition between the two, keeping in mind that the flow of money must not in any way lessen, and in fact, should increase.
Off the cuff, you’d have to say … BZZZZZ. Wrong. Whammy’d.
And you’d be right, for myself the Inidividual. I have no previous experience writing Scripts, apart from an outspoken opinion on what classifies as great story-telling. I know almost noone in any kind of _show_ business. And lastly, I’d have to leap straight into work. The odds of that happening are slightly in favour of NOT.
This doesn’t stop me dreaming though. It’s possible I’d score a breakthrough hit, send a manuscript in that would be plucked out of obscurity and made into a multi-bazillion-awardwinning-blockbustering-shiznae movie. It’s possible I’ll meet an agent with connections when I’m at Maccas for lunch tomorrow. It’s possible that a phonecall on the day I resigned would leap me straight into wonderful-paying-job.
I’ve taken you down the wrong road. Because despite the simplicity of what I class as What We Want (to do) and What We Have To Do, there are so many shades of gre(a)y. More than that, there are no corners.
I love my job. I get to _create_, which is one of my prime enjoyments on this earth. I get to solve the problems inherent with creating. I get to learn, and show my learning. I get to be outspoken, because, let’s face it .. you are only limited by your imagination. In a meeting, at your desk, choosing between a burger with the lot and a steak sandwich at the cafe.
There are times when work is tiring. And even times when I wish I were at home. Sometimes I’ll get grumpy and have an argument. Other times someone else will be in a bad mood and this will affect me (quite irrationally).
Stop the film. Spin the camera down and around. Deeper. Deeper. It’s darker down here, but warm. It’s the engine room.
Deeper than those two threads is this .. It is my job.
Contrary to what those Coke Zero tv ads would have you believe, we do have responsibility in life. We are given a portion of this substance, and it’s up to us how we grow it. I’d like to finish my current project with flying colors. I’d like to _finish_ my current project. I’d like to move onwards and upwards. Management. New projects. Startups.
One day, I’d like to be able to afford to take care of the family AND write stories (in all their various forms/medias). Actually have investments, a trust portfolio (whatever that really means), and have ..
.. I hesitate to use the word stability. My stability in life doesn’t come from what I have/do, or my surroundings. That’s got failure written all over it.
To finish this meandering hotch-potch of thoughts, what I am thinking at the moment is this.
I can learn to take enjoyment from my work, every day. There are times it will suck. But there are more times when it won’t. Above this, I will strive to take any and every opportunity that presents itself, so that my working life is always growing and moving, never stagnant.