Chris Brogan was talking about shotguns and it made me think about:

• Steaks

• and Cheeseburgers.

Or rather, Organic and Manufactured (Processed).

In the words of the swashbuckling Inigo Montoya (from The Princess Bride):

“Let me ’splain, ” *pause* “No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”

How do you forge relationships? Organically or Processed?

It all came from Chris’s Shotgun post about marketing. Which got me thinking more generically, about how we relate to one another.

Most relationships evolve over time. The people we work with, even if we aren’t friends, are known to us. Our relationship has grown organically, by the simple fact that we experience together.

I still remember the first time I watched The Princess Bride. It was twenty years ago, I was in year six.

We don’t have trouble forging relationships with characters in stories. I instantly bonded with Fezzik and Inigo as they rhymed off each other. The love story between Westley and Buttercup made me want the same thing. Not a small amount of reasoning because of the fantastic music.

There’s a lot of holes in the above. Stories don’t talk back. Characters don’t tell you how to live your lives.

But still, it shows how ready we are to relate.

Most of the time, in our reality lives, this doesn’t happen.

Sometimes, sometimes, you meet a person and instantly click. You get excited about the same things, you have had similar experiences, or just that for some higher reason, you get on really well.

And even more rarely, these “sometimes” happened in a manufactured situation. An obvious manufactured situation is Arranged Marriage, but that’s not what I want to talk about.

Twitter, FriendFeed, Facebook, YouTube, <insert web social networking service>. To begin with, the relationships that start here are manufactured (it’s the same when you start working with other people).

If you were/are anything like me, you blazed into the arena shouting out your name and very exciting and important details about yourself to anyone who would listen. And because of how these services work, to everyone who wouldn’t as well.

Digressing a little. Why? Was it the allure of fame, wanting to be another Scoble or Rose or Zefrank? Was it because I desperately wanted to use these fantastic new services to shoot my business into stardom? Was it because I’m a bit lonely, and these new paradigms of community building would be a fine place to start my new life?

Not really. Not mostly, heh.

It’s because since I was a wee lad, Friends have been vital and innately natural (hmmm) to me. Relationships energise me.

That’s why it still hurts a little when someone doesn’t respond to my Twitter. When nobody “likes” something in my FriendFeed stream. I know, Scoble has four gazillion follows, and I understand that. I know that in the same place, I’d be a lot worse. It’s not because I’m angry that they wouldn’t pay attention to me.

It’s because I long to be friends with people. To share, to grow, to laugh and talk about comics.

To build stuff together. To reminisce about the time we mooned the president.

To brainstorm ideas. Get better.

Forge new stories.

These hurts however are so insignificant in the bigger picture that it would be petty of me to mention them, except here they serve a point.

Thankyou for reading this post. Please leave a comment. Twitter me. Friendfeed me. Say G’day. I’ll promptly reply with some comment about wombats.

And here’s the point:

Be content to let your relationships grow Organically, even if they begin Manufactured.

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I’m going to scramble out on a limb like Toto the Monkey.

Robert Scoble has mentioned (in a good post by Louis Gray here) that he’s scared about people not understanding the many Social Services around today (please correct me if I’m wrong).

A good tool will solve this. FriendFeed (and the others) should invest in the creation of a Tool that will bridge the gap of their Service and the public awareness.

For me, the Tool that caused me to _get_ FriendFeed was twhirl. It allowed me to see what was happening, from a desktop app.

I think the web services need to examine more carefully the importance of a desktop app to bridge the gap between them and the world.

It doesn’t have to be a desktop app, but that’d be the first context I’d pursue.

Should the Social Web Services spend more time on a Tool to bridge the gap between them and the general public? And should they care?

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I’ve transferred this post from Clarion Folk a day after it was written.

There are a lot of Good Bloggers (Darren, GaryVee, Scobleizer, to name a few of the _many_) out there, doing good and great blogging.

This is dedicated to you. For everything I’ve learnt, and everything I continue to forget. Thankyou.

I love reading posts, watching as fellow bloggers forge identities, and sometimes as they fall into and through the cracks.

I like Good Blogging. But I also don’t like it very much.

Following are the reasons I hate Good Blogging:

1. I use a word like ‘Hate’ instead of ‘Dislike’ in the Title of my post.

“Good blogging demands that I reign in my natural instincts ..”

Sensationalism is an important part of good blogging. It’s far more than just being a sensationalist.

I can jump around and yell “Awesome” with the best of them. Seriously. I’m full of manic energy, I’ll sing loudly without being drunk, and when my eyes light up I won’t stop for just about anything.

But good blogging isn’t this. Good blogging is knowing the best time to use snippets of sensationalism. You can’t always be “ON”.

I grind against this. For me, I don’t want to discipline myself to understand these subtle moves. When I see Hate, I like “Dislike is more appropriate”. That’s me. I don’t want to change.

Don’t get me wrong, the “ON”ness is vital. Transferring wonder and excitement to people means I get to have the light in my eyes. But it has to be directed. Brought into control.

When I’m excited, I say the word “Awesome” a lot. I don’t want to think of other words right then, but good blogging calls me out and beats me around the head a little.

Good blogging demands that I reign in my natural instincts and discipline myself to become better at using an aspect like Sensationlism effectively in my writing.

2. I shouldn’t make witty post Titles, they don’t do SEO well.

“Good blogging makes me think harder.”

This goes hand in hand with the first point.

My natural bent when writing a post or article is to think up something witty. Some play on words about the topic, or a pop-culture reference.

Good blogging makes me think harder. Witty titles come and go. But the melding of wit with strategy doesn’t come easy to me. And sometimes there is no wit to be had.

3. Part of me doesn’t want organic growth, it wants instant global recognition.

“Good blogging tells me not to act and plan my goals around 15 minutes of fame.”

The Feeds! The Feeds! Why isn’t my Feedburner count sky-rocketing?

From what I read, good blogging is best done organically. Organic is the best foundation. Rock-solid. The fleeting glory of a front-page Digg is nothing compared to the Tortoise.

But I want to be the Hare! I want Digg to shower me with praise and stupid Slashdot to use one of my articles and for Scoble and GaryVee and all of YOU to read, feed, and send me Awesomes.

Good blogging tells me not to act and plan my goals around 15 minutes of fame. The Tortoise IS better than the Hare. Unless that dumb Hare doesn’t fall asleep. Then he’s WAAAAY better :) heh heh.

4. Posting Is Mostly Never Quick

“Good blogging says Shudup fool!”

Sure, sometimes it just rushes out. But like every single “How To Blog” piece I’ve ever read, TIME is a factor. Taking time to craft what you are saying will almost always have to happen.

Ask my friends and family, I rarely take time to think about what I’m saying. I rely too much on natural instinct and previous experience. That it will guide and direct the babble that proceeds forth.

Good blogging says Shudup fool! Pull your head in and think over what you are saying.

5. Fame obviously means a lot more to me than I like to think.

“I’m a little fish in probably the biggest pond, looking up at the whales that blot out the sun.”

Despite point 3., it does actually grind me that I’m so affected by fame and fortune.

This isn’t a point against good blogging so much as a kick to myself. Why is it that even though I _know_ establishing a web presence is hard and long-term, organic and tortoise-like, Why is it that when I twitter Scoble my heart skips a beat waiting for his reply? Or when GaryVee asks his followers to ‘@’ him and I do and then I wait .. eagerly.

It’s crazy, but it’s human. I’m a little fish in probably the biggest pond, looking up at the whales that blot out the sun.

Man I want to be a whale.

I love Good Blogging. But I “dislike” it too. Growth and learning and creating is hard, and my nature rails against becoming better. So here’s to fighting hard and becoming a Good Blogger!

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